Please do not read this entry if you do not have time for it. If you are doing other things, leave them a moment if they can wait, and if you do not wait for that moment until you have finished everything and you can spend a few minutes reading it and a few minutes later to do nothing but think about what you just read. I say this because I needed a good time after reading Carlota's story to investigate myself (introspection, they call him) and, obviously, to dry my tears.
Carlota was born in May 2012 in Madrid. He was born with some problems and his biological parents ignored her. One day, by chance, a couple, the one who tells the story, met her at the hospital, learned that she had no one to take care of her (going a little further, she didn't even have someone to give her some love) and after Many doubts, after much uncertainty, the couple made the decision that few people would make: they became their parents Until he left.
I had thought about telling the story with my words, but in the end I preferred not to do it so as not to run the risk of leaving something or end up detracting from the story. Carlota's father explained it so well in his blog that he copied the entry, as he expressed it, so you don't miss any detail.
Carlota was born in early May 2012 in Madrid. He came into the world with several problems and was abandoned by his biological parents (who can not be judged, they had the girl instead of throwing it into a container). He had chronic pneumopathy and required oxygen to breathe, using special glasses, of those put in hospitals. His neck, chest and arms were a little shorter than usual. He had a small malformation in the throat that prevented him from correctly swallowing or even crying like any baby. He only grunted when he got angry, when something hurt or was uncomfortable (he said Buuuu! And ma-ma-ma-ma-ma!). But it was difficult for anyone to hear her in the hustle and bustle of the box where she was treated. Nor was the head completely formed, since no one cared about the little girl's posture and, because of the morphology of her neck, she always turned her head to the same side. He had two angiomas, bumps that were quite unpleasant to see but that doctors said they disappeared over time; one in the head and one in the back. The one on the back was scaled. The doctor who would attend us a little later told us that she had coarse facies, face with coarse features, surely symptom of her syndrome, as of today still unknown.Two of our best friends, whom we will never know how to express our gratitude enough, introduced us to little Carlota on August 25, 2012, taking advantage of a visit to her newborn baby, who was also admitted fighting like a champion.
When Elena and I peered into the box, Carlota was in a crib right next to the door. He had a sullen expression, a frown and a sad look. I was alone. While the rest of the babies were in their mothers' arms, nobody took her. A long time later we would find out that some nurses took it when they had a free time, which was not usual either.
We were only in a few moments, but upon leaving we were assaulted by a torrent of mixed emotions and feelings. The paternal instinct, the broken heart of thinking that a baby had been abandoned, what a mess we are going to get into, who tells us to complicate our lives, who we are to get where they don't call us, that if the girl is not pretty (and a horn), that if when I grow up what it will be like, what a difficult life it will have, I want to take it home with me ... All washed down with intermittent panic attacks. It would not be the last time that was going to happen to us. Even months later, being part of his life, with many decisions made, doubts would assail us.
Fortunately, after a few minutes, we took out the head of our own navel and asked ourselves the only two questions that were useful for anything: who is going to give Carlota love, kisses and hugs? And what can we do for her?
Thanks to the hospital medical team we had access to Carlota as volunteers to visit her. The Community of Madrid authorized us to visit it after making it very clear that we understood that there was no cause-effect relationship between volunteering and a possible adoption, which cost us 10 days of not seeing the child.
We began to visit it on September 3, 2012. On October 9, 2012 we began the adoption preparation workshop and on the 15th we delivered the papers to start Carlota's adoption file.
Our adoption process was a bit special. We had met Carlota, and we offered to be her parents. We volunteered for her and no one else. The purpose of our visits was always that Carlota had the closest thing to parents. If they didn't grant us to be their parents, at least, we would be their godparents.
Elena spent almost all day in the hospital with her, and I went to see her almost daily after working. We also went on weekends. At first it was a volunteer, as we made it very clear, but little by little our life would revolve around it more and more.
It's amazing how happy a person can be when he stops thinking about himself and puts his full attention on others. Elena and I have fought for her to learn to eat (she got to eat a couple of large bottles), we have stimulated her to learn things (she loved Pocoyo's drawings and the stimulation bits on the iPad), we have done gymnastics with her, We have slept with her scattered on top, we have taken care of her when she had a fever, we have played with her ... In short, we have given her love and we have watched over her well-being.
And what about her. She was a fighter from the moment she saw the light for the first time, had a tremendous genius and taught us some unwritten lessons about life, of those that only a father can experience and almost nobody understands until he lives them first person, for many words that are used. Oh, and ugly nothing. I just needed a little love to stop frowning and even smile. And I didn't have a dumb hair. It was the most beautiful thing in the world. Look it's cheesy to say it, but it's true, and I have proof.
Carlota left on our side on December 19, 2012 (my birthday) at night, after a succession of events that were not properly managed. He died in our arms, accompanied at all times, with dignity.
Many people paid their respects. Both in the hospital and in the little while in the funeral home, which the Community of Madrid gave us to say goodbye properly. He had never left the hospital, he didn't know almost anyone and we hadn't talked much about her, and he already had family and friends saying goodbye as he deserved.
We have lost a daughter, but she has given us the happiest months of our life. In return, we are sure that we now have an angel in heaven.
From here, from this humble blog and from the chair where I am sitting writing, I can only wish that there really is a place up there where the children who leave can be happy and thank Carlos and Elena for being as they are and having explained that one day they decided to become parents since, although now Carlota is gone, they will remain their parents forever.
