If we talked a few days ago that with the arrival of summer the mosquitoes and the heat return, for the two-year-old children a headache (of the parents) arrives: “It's summer, you're two years old and it's time to remove diapers”.
As a pediatric nurse I receive a lot of doubts about it: that if “I am already 17 months old and I have to remove the diaper”, that “if I take it off and do not retain it, what do I do”, that “if in the nursery I They have said that you have to leave it and I don't want to ”and even that“ I want to take it off but at the nursery they tell me no. ”
And there are a few answers too, because there are children who leave it very easily and others who do not do so until they are really prepared, and it does not necessarily have to be two years old, much less.
The diaper is carried by our fault
I know mothers who have come to fight their children because they did not hold back after a while (not a slap, but a threat) and when they have explained it to me I have told them that they are not to blame for not being able to retain urine and / or poop and that as parents we should keep in mind that the fault of wearing a diaper is not theirs, but our.
Babies come to the world without diapers and it is we who, for hygiene and because we prefer it to be so, we get used to them. There are cultures in which children can poop and pee anywhere, where diapers are not used, but babies are "taught" to do their needs at a certain time.
This is done through a method called the communication of elimination, in which mother and son communicate to find a specific moment in which to do everything, being more the son than the mother who decides, logically. Through this method the mother (or father) recognizes the baby's signals that tell her that she wants to pee or poop and so she can postpone the moment of doing so, until the mother gives the signal (a hiss, for example ) for the baby to do it where she prefers.
In Western culture, on the other hand, this is not done for several reasons: neither children can do their things anywhere, nor parents are 24 hours with their children to respond to the alarm signals they do to explain that they want of doing something
So, as I say, if we do it here differently because we are doing well, It is not fair that the day we decide that they have to stop wearing the diaper, the one we have become accustomed to, we will have a hard time.
Remove the diaper for good
It is advisable then to remove the diaper for good, without disturbing, without causing unnecessary suffering.
The first thing to keep in mind is why do we want to remove the diaper. If it is because he is two years old, we should know that it may be that the child perfectly controls the sphincters, but that it may also be that he does not control them at all.
At two and a half years, for example, only 50% of children are able to go without a diaper. At 3 years, 75% do so and at 3 and a half years 95% of children.
So, if the summer in which our son is two years old we take off his diaper and see that the days go by and the child does it over, he pisses everywhere, leaves poop in the corners and does not seem to even warn that he is going to do it is clear that he is telling us that it is not the time.
In such a case, as it is not controlling sphincters, because the diaper is put on and again and will be tried later.
Put on the diaper again?
I keep reading in many places that putting the diaper on again is folly because you are going back. As I said on other occasions, to go back you must have gone forward and if the child has not begun to control, he is at the same point as before removing his diapers, so yes, they can be put back without problems.
In fact there are children who go without diapers around the world but to pee or poop they want the diaper before the potty or the toilet.
It can also not be done at two years, or at three and simply wait for the child to ask for it, sure that sooner or later he will, because nobody likes to go pissing or pooping in a diaper, if he can avoid it.
But the school starts
Of course, what happens is that this is also not very logical in the society in which we live, because between two and three years children usually start school and (zas !, the first in the forehead) in schools they don't want children to wear diapers. It is not a matter of maturation in plan "as it goes to school is a big child and can no longer wear a diaper", but it is a matter of logistics: "I am alone for 25 children and I can not spend the day changing diapers" .
Then what happens, that the last monkey is precisely the client, the user of public (or private) services, that is, the boy or girl who, not yet able to retain, has to hustle to do it yes or yes , because if not there you do it on top. Many end up getting it and, unfortunately, some children do not get it and spend half a year going out with spare and dirty clothes in a plastic bag.
And how I do it?
Taking advantage of the summer that comes at home, you take your diaper off and go naked, doing things where you feel like it. So when you do, you explain what it is: "Look honey, you made a pee" or "Look, a poop of the culete" and tell him that he could do better somewhere else, because on the floor you have to clean it. Then you can offer what you think is appropriate: “Look, here I leave you a diaper, a potty and here is the toilet with a reducer. When you want to do something you tell me and we use what you prefer. ” The diaper is offered as a transition because there are many children who do not want to hear about toilets or urinals.
It is also positive to talk about it once he has done it, so that he knows the sensations: “Look, now the poop has fallen in the potty, which has come out of your ass”, “Now you are wet because you pee, do you notice that Is it different from being dry? ”, that you know what will happen at each moment:“ now we will pull the chain and the poop will go somewhere else, with other poops ”and not be worried about letting something escape at some point it was his (some children have a really bad time because they believe that the poop is a piece of their body that they lose and will never see again).
But above all, the most important thing is to respect their times. Sphincter control is taught, but children get it only when they are ready. It's like trying to teach a two-year-old boy to read: it's impossible. However, when he is five, he does get the letters and words. Well, this is the same. Some children at age two immediately understand how it works to control the sphincters and others, who are not yet prepared, will not do so until after three.
As we do not know what ours is, the ideal is to respect children and their abilities, so it is not necessary to tell them that if you do it on top you are a baby and not even that “now we are going to remove the diaper a few days because you are no longer a baby ”, because if it turns out that the poor child is not able to be without a diaper it will again be what dad and mom no longer want it to be.
