The limits are, to a certain extent, somewhat arbitrary. There are houses where you have to take off your shoes when entering, like in my house. There are houses where one can get on the couch, but without shoes and keeping a safe attitude, like in my house. Letting a house in with dirty street shoes or never jumping on a sofa are other different but equally valid rules. But an educated child without limits You will not be able to adapt to these differences.
There are houses where the rules are different and it is important that my child knows how to understand the right of others to set the rules that make them feel comfortable and to respect them completely, both in their own home and when they go to other people's homes.
Children without limits have many difficulties in accepting them, and it is their parents' responsibility to explain them to them, from respect but making it clear that respect is also the child's respect for others.
There are situations in which parents must be very clear about the needs of the children and the limits imposed by respect towards them and towards the rest of the people, in order to be able to attend to all the variables in a coherent way.
Practical examples: the restaurant
Take, for example, a small child, to a formal restaurant or a long meeting, is not usually a good idea. Depending on the age and character of the child, it may be better to look for another alternative that allows the game and the need for free movement, or, at most, limit our residence time and know that, after finishing the plate, ask a child to less than six years that he continues sitting an hour listening to adults talk about their things, boring, is disrespectful to him, a person who also deserves consideration.
With a suitable space a child must, on the contrary, be able to play freely, and that is extremely necessary for them, but in an adult space, we are the ones who must get up and go outside so that he can play.
We have to be responsible for our children and their behavior, respecting their needs but also those of the other people with whom we live in society. If you have to shorten the desktop, we must do so, so as not to burden the child with more than he can bear and not burden others with an annoying child.
One of the situations that bothers me the most is that of go eat at a restaurant and see how the parents continue with their table talk while the children run through the tables, disturbing and also being a danger to the workers.
It also hurts to see the children tied in their cart crying or passing the food between screams and bad ways of the parents every time they move or try to talk.
There is an intermediate way of acting. If we are going to eat at a place not adapted for children, we should make them part of the conversation, not focusing it completely on them, but not cornering them and sending them to shut up all the time. It is simply to take them into account as people they are, with the same right as any adult to feel excluded if they are ignored in a conversation.
So far it may seem simple, but in parenting we must know our son, his needs as a growing person different from an adult and guide his adaptation to society.
We must first be able to limit ourselves in our desires so as not to impose our desire for adult company at times when children can enjoy pleasant activities for them.
But in this too you have to be consistent. Not everything revolves around the child and his fun. At each age we can, depending on the maturation of our child, ask for time for us and expose the rules of the site. Making this transition in a gradual way, always with many affectionate but firm words, we can get our son to behave like an educated person who knows that he is respected and knows how to respect.
Practical examples: department stores and stores
A store or a department store They are also not suitable places for a child. We can't let him run, or touch things, or throw anything on the floor. When it is inevitable to go, and it is good to get used to them, we must calculate a short time of stay and, at that time, expose the rules of the place and be extremely attentive to help them respect them, being very attentive to them.
We must explain that the sellers, the items for sale and the rest of the people in that space need not to break anything, or run between them, or clutter. But, as I say, we can go, but for a limited time appropriate to each child, because each child is different.
Children without limits
If we think about the many hours of the school day, where many of their movements are guided and qualified, where they are expected to be quiet and quiet for too long, we must organize ourselves to be able to give them their hours of freedom, experimentation, adventure and self-motivation.
We will talk more about this topic, because the difference between freedom and respect is the center of the experience of empathically raising as the child grows to fall into Children without limits.
