As a mother, editor and maternity blogger, I know very well and firsthand that there are few issues and experiences as complex, bipolar and deep as parenting and everything that this includes: from how to do it, the experiences we live, and the feelings and teachings that it leaves us.
I also know with certainty some of what I have spoken on different occasions: motherhood is not rosy, but this does not mean that it is total darkness. It is increasingly common for bloggers to talk about real motherhood, and that's fine. But also, we have to remember and repeat this: not everything is tiredness and sacrifice, because motherhood also gives us daily moments of happiness.
Trying to summarize motherhood in an article is very complicated. It could not include everything that it entails, all its nuances, contrasts, lights and shadows in so few words. Similarly, we cannot define motherhood as a single thing or with a single word, as "good" or "difficult".
When we become mothers, we realize that it is not that dream experience that we were told in which everything was illusion, sweetness and perfection. Our first encounter with tangible motherhood comes in postpartum, which from my point of view is one of the most difficult stages of being a mother.
In Babies and more Dear new mom: motherhood is not like postpartumIn those first weeks we face a clash of reality that nobody told us or warned, precisely because it is so dark and confusing, that many of us feel guilty for not feeling that being a mother is the best in the world at that time, and we decided not to talk about it.
Fortunately, it is increasingly common to read experiences and see more realistic photographs of motherhood, that show us their lights and shadows, that tell us about those difficult moments, in which we feel that we are not doing things right or that we feel lost , and that They help us feel less alone during moments like that, knowing that we are not the only ones that go through that.
But also, with the passing of the months we realize that motherhood is not like postpartum (and thankfully that is not the case). Of course, other challenges and situations come that require a different effort, and that lead us to talk about all the sacrifices that being a mother implies.
And although I am completely in favor of talking about motherhood in a real way, I don't like that tendency to paint ourselves as selfless and sacrificed women who have left everything for having chosen to be mothers. Because reality is not like that and we cannot summarize or define motherhood just like that.
It's true, motherhood is not how you look on social networks and many mothers are tired of hearing or seeing that everything is rosy, but neither should we say and repeat among ourselves (and others) that everything is tiredness, pain and sacrifices.
I personally consider it absurd to try to make a comparison between having children and not having them, simply because there is no way or way to compare them. They are completely different life experiences, which naturally provide us with different types of happiness..
The "problem" with motherhood is that much of that happiness does not sound as bombastic as saying that you travel the world and it's not as easy to capture as those awesome photos we see on Instagram. But if we stop to think about it for a moment, having children gives us much more than what is seen with the naked eye or in a photograph.
Only when we become mothers can we realize this and We understand the value of all those small but daily moments of love and joy that motherhood gives us. A hug around your neck, a smile full of small teeth, a comment full of innocence or illusion, small hands that caress your face, a sweet little voice that says "I love you". And the list goes on and on.
In Babies and more, having children does some more complicated things, but it makes everything much betterBeing a mother is a great thing, although sometimes difficult to describe, but I always tell my friends without children, yes, that she is very tired most of the time, but that all that fatigue is compensated in happiness and joys, that no other life experience can give you. There is simply nothing that compares to having children.
From my point of view, happiness, although it is possible to capture it in a photograph with a big smile, is not limited only to that. And therefore, I would like us to avoid making those comments of sacrifice and negativity among us and stop using them as a warning to future mothers or recent mothers.
Let's be realistic, well it's not about painting motherhood as a dream experience, but let's not continue perpetuating that idea of selfless and sacrificed mothers. Let's not minimize those great emotions and moments that improve and fill your heart when you have children.
And as I said long ago: real motherhood may not be glamorous and we will not always look radiant or feel full of energy, but it is certainly one of the most complete and beautiful experiences that life can give us.
Photos | Unsplash
