The love that provides the maternity it already makes us happy but ... but motherhood is also tired, stressful, sometimes it surpasses us and puts us to the test. However, there are a few things we can do to minimize those “less positive” points and get great.
We suggest you seven habits of happy mothers that you can implement from today if you still do not. You sign up?
They ask for help
Although there are more and more voices that totally reject and demystify the image of the superwoman, of the mother who can with everything (and with everyone), that idea of motherhood continues floating in the air. But you know what? That we don't have to be able to do everything, much less. So when you feel overwhelmed, ask your partner, your friends, your family or those who are part of your environment for help.
And why do we have to ask for help? Shouldn't our environment know what we need? Well ... yes and no. That is, obviously there are things that fall by their own weight and should not be made explicit, but there are others that we may take for granted and yet our partner does not even glimpse. And watch out, that's why they love us less! It's just that they don't have to know what we need specifically at a specific time. So ask, ask that nothing happens.
They spend time alone and make plans
Spending time alone with yourself is something very healthy and great and more when you spend much of the day surrounded by your kids.
People have different roles: while still being ourselves, we don't do the same things with our aunt, for example, as with our best friend, right? As it turns out that all those roles are necessary and healthy, and we are not interested in leaving any planted.
You are a mother, yes, but you are also a woman, friend, sister or partner. Taking care of all spheres of our life guarantees us balance, reinforcements, well-being. It's not always possible to have some time alone, but whenever you can, don't leave it.
They automate
If we show our children that we love them by pampering them, taking care of them, telling them how much we love them ... why don't we do that with ourselves? Well, that.
In consultation I usually put a minimum: 15 minutes a day dedicated to ourselves, to do things that are pleasing to us. Why 15 minutes? Because it is the minimum of the minimum… but if you want and you can spend more time, bravo, go ahead!
What to do at that time? To ensure that we do something and that the minutes we had reserved are not diluted while we think what to do, it is best to plan the activities for the entire week. At first you can give a little laziness, but then go out alone.
They do some sport
Whether in the gym, at home or going for a walk with your baby in the stroller, 15 minutes or 2 hours, whatever you can. The sport is healthy not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally.
They don't compare and keep perfectionism at bay
Directly related to the previous point is this one. Comparing ourselves with other mothers only serves to whip us. How is it possible that he has time to take care of children, work, comb his hair and have homemade cookies ready every afternoon? Well, we do not know (and if there is one that has the secret to stretch the time he tells us here, we will be eternally grateful).
What we do know is that this is his life, with its characteristics (which we probably do not know, we only see the external) ... That mother who seems to have it all day without disheveled has a list of priorities that may not match yours ... what is the point of making comparisons?
And if that is in terms of comparing ourselves to other mothers ... the same I say with respect to comparing ourselves to ourselves, with being excessively perfectionist. Perfectionism is nothing more than a subjective bar, one that is also mobile even if it seems static. I explain myself: what you consider "perfect" is not really 10, because when you reach 10 you realize that you can improve and you continue ... and you continue ...
Perfectionism is a trap, It has no roof !, so it leads us to get frustrated and constantly feel bad about not reaching that bar. Put a brake on it! Make a more realistic forecast: instead of going for 10 we will go for 8 or 9, which are great, but not so demanding as to make us feel bad, don't you think? Do you dare to lower self-demand?
Take perspective
Even if you think so (horror!) The lack of sleep will not last forever ... I swear. There will come a day when your little one sleeps a night of the pull, or almost, and you will get up without being able to believe it. If we think that this tiredness will always last, or we do not limit it, we will be doing much more uphill. And it is not true: when he is a few years old, it will be you who has to wake him up, you'll see.
They laugh, and a lot
Even though you are tired, even though the day has been terrible ... you will surely find some reason to laugh. For example, if after having been in the kitchen preparing dinner when leaving you stumble on your little one and the dish goes straight to the floor (and with him dinner) you can start crying ... or laughing. Let's choose the second option, that life with humor is better.
Many mothers, especially with young children, often tell me that they understand that this story is necessary, and positive and great ... but that life does not give them much. I understand perfectly, I'm a mother, but in the end it's about set priorities and to understand that if we are not well in the end it will end up splashing our kids. Think: if what you want is for your children to be happy, Isn't it a good idea to start by setting an example? Come on, I'm sure you can take it out for a little while!
Photos | Pixabay
In Babies and more | Self-esteem for recent mothers: love yourself a lot !, Purpose for the new year: take care of yourself and love you more to be a better mother, Time for mom: why it is important to have it (time for mom
