I like children. I really like my children. But I also like to have a little energy in everyday life and a little emotional health, and there are days when I only get it because, like every father and every mother, I have gotten used to this by living surrounded by situations of chaos and learning to disconnect the brain to leave it at a minimum (leave activated the functions responsible for breathing, leave beat your heart and walk without bumping into the walls and doors), without thinking much.
That is why a day came when I decided not to have children, and I stand firm in the decision, and I am surprised because it does not happen to many of them: when they say they will not have any more children because it is exhausting and as time passes they forget and they tell you that they want to have another child!
This should be like tattoos
I only wear a tattoo, but when I did it, I wondered the same thing that people who become one should ask themselves the first time: how can there be people who are full of tatus? How painful!! But the hours and days pass, and it doesn't hurt anymore. And the bad experience only leaves the memory of that pain and the logical footprint on the skin, so that the person can already start to consider whether another will be done or not, where, which, etc.
Well, having children is something similar. If the suffering is at the time of delivery, if that day you say that you will not have more, then you relativize and realize that it's only one day in your life and then the rest compensates.
If the thing goes more for the postpartum, because you suffer a lot, you feel alone and you seem to fall into a hole with no exit, you realize with the time that everything happens, that a time comes when the child grows and all that is left behind.
In Babies and more, have the second child fast or wait for the first to grow a little more?If it's because your child gets very sick, or often gets sick, and you end up in hospitals, the same. You say no more, because you have a hard time seeing him suffer without being able to do anything to remedy it, without being in control of their well-being, and you choose not to have any more children ... but time goes by and, or the child is better and you forget, or you learn to live with it and you get used to it, and you end up falling.
When you have three children and you will not have more
And then there is my family, that we are a couple with three children and a big dog, all in a flat, it seems that we want to break a record of discomfort, that we no longer know where to put things because there is saturation in every way and that going to crap has become a waste of time, because they are 5 minutes in which you are not doing anything else more useful and practical.
You have three children, do not give enough to take them to school, to extracurriculars, prepare everything for the present day, for the next day, take into account everything on the agenda, grant them some time to play, listen to what that they have to tell you, do things around the house, take out the dog, study, see a chapter of a series once a month and try to do something in front of the mirror to avoid that every year that passes seems like eight have passed, and despite that you go and loose: how I would like to have another child.
That he told me a few days ago! I wanted to have another one! That I will never have a baby again, that I miss him, that I loved when I had them in little arms, that I really enjoyed those times. It will be that the eldest turned ten a few days ago and he was nostalgic, but he was telling me so seriously ...
Photos | iStock, Rolands Lakis on Flickr
In Babies and more | Have another child ?, Eight reasons why I am NOT going to have more children, is it possible to raise with attachment when you have three (or more) children?
